The bottoms of tops.

I'm scared of the next couple of weeks. Summer is quickly approaching an end and all of the things I said I would do before it was over are coming back to haunt me. And those are only the things that I remember saying I would get done, not to mention the things that I pushed out of my mind a week into June and have yet to surface. Anxiety aside, however, I am pretty damn happy about the way the summer has gone. Yes there are things I didnt get to do but I also did a lot of things I never thought I would do. (don't you wish you knew what they are...)

Last week was a shit load of work and stress starting with a shitty apointment with the dentist flat tires cold rainy nights, getting my credit card ripped off , and general high strung grumpiness. But I also got to go out dancing with friends, go swimming in the rain, stay up late and spoil my liver every day. So I guess it balances out. Thursday I spent a bunch of time pouting about getting my debit card information stolen by some asshole in Ireland who charged a $330 plane ticket to it. Eventually it got on everbodys nerves and they told me to shut the fuck up. Which I'm gratefull for. Money is money and it comes and goes. It's kind of like all the shit I said I would get done and spend time beating myself up for. Yes, it is irresponsible of me to not commit to some of these obligations, but it also nothing I can change now. So I might as well ride my bike to Chippewa and have a fire in the woods and eat pizza in a parking lot at 3 in the morning.

I know it is kind of a twisted logic but it makes sense to me. If I am going to be up untill 10 I might as well be up until 3 and I might as well go to the Brat and ride bike around town in the rain in my underwear. And I can totally blame it on the fact that the days are noticably shorter and responsibility is coming at me like a bullet from a gun, but as true as those things are I like to say that more than anything it is because I am lucky enough to have awesome people around me and live in an awesome place where I am afforeded those options.

So the point of all this is that I am selfish, and irresponsible, and regretful, and anxious about the future. But I love every second of it.