21

I havn't done much in the past few days. Today I finally ordered a set of 36 hole weinmans. Sure there not deep v's but they are cheap and just as strong. As long as I don't have to worrry about all the cracks on barstow anymore I'm happy. Now I just need a new cog, right now I'm running 48/16, but I'm thinking about switching to 48/15. Yesterday was my birthday, and I finally turned 21. I'm happy but at the same time I feel like I am now expected to kiss my adolesence goodbye. I've joined the ranks of a group that I have disliked for a long time. I can't count the amount of times in my life I couldn't get into a show because it was 21+. Or the amount of times I've been treated like shit because some person thought if your not 21 your not worth talking too. So much of the past 6 years or so of my life has been circumstance to my age that I can't help but find turning 21 anti-climatic. I wnet to work at 3:30 on Jan. 7, I got off at 12:01 Jan.8 and thats it, in one night at work I turned 21. No fireworks or great transformation I just got into my car and drove home. Yesterday I went and bought some expensive beer, and went out to eat with my familey. My dad gave me a new record player for my birthday, it's really nice and sounds great. Afterwards my sister and I went to the joynt for a few drinks. Once again it was wierd because I remeber being in the joynt when I was like 10 years old and my mom would stop in for a drink. I grew up in bars untill I was 13 and realized while my parents were at the bar I could gor ride a bus or walk around town. The fact that I wasn't allowed to come in and sit down and drink was a bit disturbing to me. and helped garner my resentment for the 21+ crowd at an early age. Sitting in the bar I couldn't help but think about being a kid in the bar running my fingers up and down the twisted metal of the bar stools, and thinking about the old guy with the big beard that used to sit at the end of the bar. The smell of stale smoke and the haggard coasters. My sister and I sat around talking about being raised in bars and how it has changed our perceptions of the whole bar scene as we drank. It's hard to not let sentimentality get ahold of you when you go somehwere that you havn't been for a long time. It's also not hard to feel some sort of remorse. I know this is alot of rambling, but I still havn't sorted out my thoughts of the past few days yet. I'll vut it short and just say that turnign 21 is a paradox for me. I think it is for anyone who doesn't just go out and "get totally fucked up" on there 21 birthday.

Now that I finally got a new record player heres what I'm listening too.
Note:I usually only post myspace links because they have music on them, I am not a member of myspace, and probobly never ever ever will be.

lemuria:http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=5663909
Murder of Crows:http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=14267668
Teen Idles: http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=40726795
Ballast:http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=62757611
Rites of Spring:http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=51911371
Sunny Day Real Estate:http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=44489849